If I were to compile a Photoshop file of my life so far, the first background layer would be the color of the sky. Blue, perhaps teal, every hue possible of that color. I would add a rainbow and some butterflies, too. Perhaps some flowers.
If I had to create it layer by layer, I would have no recollection of myself as a baby, of course! Though there is a picture of me with cheeks touching the ground, well, almost. Then, while I was growing up, I remember relatives pulling on my cheeks; they seemed so pullable. It hurt.
I have a vivid picture of me holding a blue, or was it a green crayon? Maybe teal. That’s what you get when you mix those two. The wall in the living room, the one that had a rectangle hole, how can a hole be any other shape than a circle? There it was; I would often jump from the living room sofa onto this window into the room behind that wall. Back and forth, countless times. The swing hanging in the gallery that ran through the entire house connecting the rooms was my favorite spot to sit and eat. Yes, eat. After returning from school, I would gladly pile on it, to and fro, while my grandmother stood there with a spoonful of food. To and fro I went.
Fast forward to the school where I made some of my most cherished friends; I would dedicate several layers to all of them. To my teachers as well. My furry buddies, especially the one who would fondly follow me to the end of the neighborhood street, where I would bike around while going to school on that blue-colored bike, which I immensely disliked. Only recently, I learned that my friend loved it as much as I hated it. I loved the one that another friend used to ride. Isn’t it funny how we are always left wanting something we already have but never realize that someone else also wants to have it?
As if nothing is ever good enough.
The layer for college will be the most embellished, for that’s where I utilized the most creative juices. The colors, the patterns, the shapes, and all. That’s where I learned to use my imagination the most.
That’s where I found companionship, too. I tasted all the flavors of emotions and the chocolates he would slip into my bag. Fast forward to now, most nights, we often find ourselves with a bar of chocolate in hand, sitting on the living room couch, binge-watching some series or the other.
Relishing every phase of life and work in the moments that are, while also being mindful of the moments that will unfold, these layers of my life have shaped me. Being a mother has taught me so much, and as I see glimpses of myself in my son, both in the outer and the inner layers of his being, I am filled with immense gratitude. It reminds me of the poem by Khalil Gibran, that our children are not our children, they are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
The life’s longing for itself…
I create my life layer by layer, or should I say it is creating me layer by layer while adjusting the vibrance, the hue, and the saturation from time to time. Sometimes, I even try hard to copy and paste some people I have lost onto the layers of the present times while they turn into faint memories, constant reminders of the fragility of this life.As I create my life layer by layer, or should I say it is creating me layer by layer while adjusting the vibrance, the hue, and the saturation from time to time. Sometimes, I even try hard to copy and paste some people I have lost onto the layers of the present times while they turn into faint memories, constant reminders of the fragility of this life.
These layers of life have taught me well, and I am still learning and unlearning to:
- Keep the background solid and clean so you can see the content on the layers above.
Clarity is essential for understanding what’s important. - Never lock it in — return to change the color, texture, and maybe the transparency.
Life is fluid, and we grow by being open to change. - Label the layers so that you can find what’s where.
It’s easier to navigate through life when you organize your experiences. - Clean up from time to time.
Declutter your mind, your surroundings, and your heart. - Group the layers together to reduce overwhelm.
Compartmentalizing can help manage life’s complexities. - Give due credit if you take inspiration from someone else.
Acknowledging others enriches your journey. - Stick to the narrative.
Staying true to yourself is critical to authenticity. - Use a few fonts.
Simplicity has its beauty. - Not be afraid to merge layers when necessary.
Sometimes, we must integrate experiences to see the whole picture. - Always keep an undo option for the mistakes you’ll inevitably make.
Forgiveness and self-compassion are essential tools. - Embrace layer masks.
Not everything needs to be revealed all at once; timing matters. - Add effects wisely.
Don’t overcomplicate life — sometimes, the most straightforward touches are the most profound. - Understand that the blend modes are there for a reason.
Balance, compromise, and context are essential in relationships and decisions. - Zoom in to the details, but don’t forget to zoom out to see the bigger picture.
Perspective can shift everything. - Leave space for new layers to be added.
There is always room for growth and new beginnings. - Flatten your image only when you are sure it’s complete.
Decisions, once made, should be made with confidence and finality. - Save often.
Pause and appreciate the moments you’re living before moving forward. - Experiment with different brushes — no two strokes need to be the same.
Every phase in life deserves its unique expression. - And finally, never forget that even if the image isn’t perfect, it’s still yours.
Perfection is overrated; authenticity is priceless.
While I diligently try to preserve each precious memory, I am also gratefully reminded of the present. I will never delete any of the layers I have thus lived so far, for each has been precious. Each has its lessons and learnings, turning me into the version I will finally become.
I am looking forward to the latest, the most final, so far, the final.jpg, as I step into my golden year of 24-carat goodness, malleable still.
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